The Letter
by mishy-mo
Summary: Oneshot. Jack gives Sam a letter after the events of Divide and Conquer and Window of Opportunity, but what does it say and when will she be ready to forward it on to the person it was addressed to.


**The Letter**

It was just another day.

Well almost.

She was still reeling from their confessions strapped to a chair trying to prove they weren't brainwashed assassins, still shaken from shooting Martouf twice with a zat when it turned out that he was a za'tarc instead and she was still trying to get her head around the idea of Colonel O'Neill and Teal'c being trapped in a time loop, learning to read ancient and saving the world. Again.

And that look, _that_ look he gave her over the briefing table and again at breakfast this morning. It made her stomach twist just thinking about it.

She ran her hands over her forearms trying to banish the not altogether unpleasant shiver that coursed through her as she stepped into her lab.

She frowned, instinctively knowing that someone had been in the room in her absence. Her eyes scanned the room taking in every detail until they settled on a brown envelope atop her keyboard.

_Major S. Carter - Eyes Only_.

That in itself wasn't unusual, she received sensitive documents often as a result of being a lead scientist at one of the worlds most secret projects. No, what was unusual was that the words were hand written in a neat but familiar scrawl.

She glanced around the room before taking a seat at her desk and drawing the envelope into her hands.

If she was honest with herself, which of late she had been forced to be, she was scared. Scared of what was in the envelope, scared of what might change if she opened it and most of all scared that nothing would change if she didn't.

She slipped a letter opener beneath the flap and slid the edge along carefully so as not to damage the contents. Her thumb parted the edges of the envelope carefully revealing a single folded sheet of paper with a post-it attached to it. Trembling fingers withdrew the contents, her eyes flicked around the room to check that she was alone.

The same scrawl littered the post-it note though not as neat as the lettering on the outside of the envelope.

_In case you ever want to change your mind. J x_

Her brow creased as her gaze focused on the cross at the end of the message. She let her index finger trace across that note lingering on the last symbol a moment longer until her curiosity got the better of her and she unfurled the letter, the post-it still attached to the back.

General Hammond,

I, Colonel Johnathan J. O'Neill, hereby tender my resignation effective immediately...

Tears filled her eyes as she read on slowly and carefully. The letter went on to state that he was resigning in order to pursue a personal matter which he would be unable to do with a clear conscience whilst he was still a member of the Air Force. It had been signed but the date was left blank.

She folded the letter and tucked it back in the envelope quickly, her eyes glancing around the room again as she thrust it into a drawer and shut it with an audible thump.

She felt completely thrown. He'd agreed... he'd said he was okay with leaving it in the room then he has to go and do something like this! He'd retire just to be with her and he gave her the letter so that she is in complete control of what may or may not happen between them. She sighed deeply and rested her head in her hands. No, she just couldn't. Not now.

The date was left blank.

_In case you ever want to change your mind._

He'd never intended for her to hand this to Hammond immediately. It was there for when she felt she was ready. It shocked her more than a little knowing that he was already there, ready and willing to give up his career and gate travel just for a chance that they might work.

She bit her lip briefly before opening the drawer gently and drawing out the envelope again.

She lost count of how many times she'd read it, each word burned into her mind as he finally put it away, taping the envelope to the underside of the desk inside her top drawer to keep it secret, to keep it safe.

* * *

><p>Time passed. She never forgot the letter, those words. On difficult days she reached under her desk and traced the outline of the envelope. On bad days she untapped the envelope, her eyes tracing over the scrawls on the envelope and post-it note. The letter itself was reserved for truly dark and horrible days, a light that guided her back to life.<p>

* * *

><p>Jack tilted his head slightly curiously as Hammond approached him in the infirmary, a crisp letter in his hand.<p>

'Is this some kind of hoax?'

'What is it, Sir?'

'I, Colonel Johnathan J. O'Neill, hereby tender my resignation... Jack, you've been in the infirmary ever since you got back.'

'Is it my signature?'

'Well, yes...'

'Then it's not a hoax.'

'But the date...'

'Sir, I wrote that letter two years ago and entrusted it to someone to give to you when the time was right. I meant every word when I wrote it then and my feelings on the matter haven't changed in the slightest.'

'Colonel, we just got you back. I'm not about to let you go that easily.'

'Seems like someone else shares that sentiment, Sir.' he said with a slight smile before frowning. 'Are you saying you're not going to accept my resignation?'

'What I'm saying is that I need to make a few calls.' he said before turning on his heal.

Sam watched the exchange over the video feed before heading to the infirmary.

He smiled seeing her approach. 'Hey.' he murmured softly.

'Hey.' she said drawing closer, so close that her hip was pressed against the side of his bed and her hand came to rest just a few centimetres from his.

'So, Hammond dropped by.'

'I saw.' she said nodding to the camera in the corner of the room.

'He said he just got me back and he wasn't going to let me go that easily.'

She frowned. 'But...'

'He said he's going to make a few calls, whatever that means.'

'Oh.'

Sam could feel his eyes on her as she looked down and away from him. Just when she was ready to hold onto him and never let go...

His hand covered hers.

'I don't care who he calls, Sam. I was ready to leave two years ago, as far as I'm concerned I was no longer part of the Air Force the instant he read it.'

She turned her hand in his so that they were pressed palm to palm and gripped him tightly, her head nodded slightly as tears filled her eyes.

'So why now?' he asked softly.

'I want you to come home to me.'

'I'm here.'

She shook her head. 'No, you're not.' Her eyes met his, love shinning out past her glistening tears. 'You're still there. I want... I need to help you come home. I didn't know any other way...'

He smiled slightly sadly knowing every word was the truth, he was still in a very dark place the walls of Bal's dungeon still enclosing his mind but now there was a light to lead him home.

Neither were quite sure how it happened but the next thing either of them knew she was sitting on the bed at his hip with her arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders.

His arms slipped around her waist, he held onto her for dear life. 'I love you.' he murmured

'I love you too, Jack.' she whispered back.

Daniel watched over them from with a slight smile around his mouth. 'Told you.'


End file.
